My latest post was met with some criticism. I have had a negative comment here or there in my past blogging experience and have always been able to simply delete it and move on. This particular comment, however, at such a critical time for my family, stuck with me. I actually woke up several times last night constructing different responses in my mind. My blog is set up to screen comments, so they come directly to my email for approval before they are displayed on the blog. This is primarily to avoid the occasional piece of spam, but in this case served to keep negativity off of this page. This particular comment was mean spirited and full of assumption and accusation. It actually encouraged others not to support or help our family in any way. Worst of all, although left anonymously, it clearly came from someone who knows us, or at least Chris, very well and either is, or is related in some way, to a colleague of his. I had so many responses in my head. I could fire back with an "answer" for each false accusation. I could straighten out every assumption that this person made with personal details of our finances and our doctor appointment schedule and intimate details of our comings and goings over the past weeks. I had in my head a pretty good response ready to go this morning, but I couldn't find any peace with it. I couldn't feel "good" about a reply to this person. As I laid in bed this morning, God spoke to me. I heard him asking me to turn to him, turn the other cheek, seek - what would he do. So I hit the scripture.
One of my biggest pleas in our situation with Ty has been that God would be at work and use our story. We cling to Romans 8:28, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Even in our fear for Ty and his health, we know that God is at work and that good will come from a scary situation. We pray that God will use us and our journey to bring glory to Him. As hurtful as the comment was, I believe that God will work good through this and every part of our journey. So, this morning I continued to claim this verse.
A friend that Chris consulted last night, reminded us that the more we "put ourselves out there" the more we open ourselves up to criticism, etc. He is absolutely right. I don't know that we have ever, as a family, been more transparent or in a more likely situation to be used by God. Given that, we should expect to meet adversity and criticism - more than usual. As such, we have to prepare ourselves and seek God in every situation and in every response.
We have to push away fear and doubt and trust God. In reading this persons comments, the thought crossed my mind, "What if we get the miracle we have prayed for and God completely heals Ty? Will that make this person feel justified?" There will still be such a need - all the bills for prenatal specialist care, the time off work... the list goes on. I had to remind myself, that we can't fear and doubt, we just have to trust God. God has led so many of you to support us for a reason and we are so very grateful. God is using so many people and so many ways to provide for our needs and to support little Ty and his fight against CHD before it even begins outside of the womb. It is humbling and overwhelming and wonderful to see God working in our lives. He has a plan for Ty and for our family that might involve complete healing as we have asked - either before birth in the form of a miracle or after at the hands of skilled doctors. He may even have a different plan. Our job is just trust, no matter what adversity we face and no matter what challenges come our way. Trust Him and praise Him in all things.
This morning I found another verse that brought me comfort. Matthew 5:11, "Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me." I'm not sure what the motive was of the criticism we received, but God will work through that as well. I have come to the conclusion that the best reply is no reply, but prayer. I will not reply directly on email to the comment that was left. I will delete it and pray for the person who sent it. I will pray that God will work in their heart and reveal himself and his great work to them.
As for why I am acknowledging the comment on my blog? In reading this morning on the biblical way to respond to criticism I found this: "Ask the Lord to use false accusations as a platform to display greater courage, faith, and hope in the Lord's ability to cause all things to work together for good." and "Never doubt God's ability to send the most unlikely people, provisions, and processes to deliver you." I felt led to share, to continue to be transparent. This isn't intended as a reply to the person who left the comment, but as a way to share our journey - every part of it - publicly, which is the reason this blog exists. I have no idea how God will use this, or any part of our journey, but I trust that there is purpose and He will.
One of my biggest pleas in our situation with Ty has been that God would be at work and use our story. We cling to Romans 8:28, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Even in our fear for Ty and his health, we know that God is at work and that good will come from a scary situation. We pray that God will use us and our journey to bring glory to Him. As hurtful as the comment was, I believe that God will work good through this and every part of our journey. So, this morning I continued to claim this verse.
A friend that Chris consulted last night, reminded us that the more we "put ourselves out there" the more we open ourselves up to criticism, etc. He is absolutely right. I don't know that we have ever, as a family, been more transparent or in a more likely situation to be used by God. Given that, we should expect to meet adversity and criticism - more than usual. As such, we have to prepare ourselves and seek God in every situation and in every response.
We have to push away fear and doubt and trust God. In reading this persons comments, the thought crossed my mind, "What if we get the miracle we have prayed for and God completely heals Ty? Will that make this person feel justified?" There will still be such a need - all the bills for prenatal specialist care, the time off work... the list goes on. I had to remind myself, that we can't fear and doubt, we just have to trust God. God has led so many of you to support us for a reason and we are so very grateful. God is using so many people and so many ways to provide for our needs and to support little Ty and his fight against CHD before it even begins outside of the womb. It is humbling and overwhelming and wonderful to see God working in our lives. He has a plan for Ty and for our family that might involve complete healing as we have asked - either before birth in the form of a miracle or after at the hands of skilled doctors. He may even have a different plan. Our job is just trust, no matter what adversity we face and no matter what challenges come our way. Trust Him and praise Him in all things.
This morning I found another verse that brought me comfort. Matthew 5:11, "Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me." I'm not sure what the motive was of the criticism we received, but God will work through that as well. I have come to the conclusion that the best reply is no reply, but prayer. I will not reply directly on email to the comment that was left. I will delete it and pray for the person who sent it. I will pray that God will work in their heart and reveal himself and his great work to them.
As for why I am acknowledging the comment on my blog? In reading this morning on the biblical way to respond to criticism I found this: "Ask the Lord to use false accusations as a platform to display greater courage, faith, and hope in the Lord's ability to cause all things to work together for good." and "Never doubt God's ability to send the most unlikely people, provisions, and processes to deliver you." I felt led to share, to continue to be transparent. This isn't intended as a reply to the person who left the comment, but as a way to share our journey - every part of it - publicly, which is the reason this blog exists. I have no idea how God will use this, or any part of our journey, but I trust that there is purpose and He will.
2 comments:
Beautiful response to criticism. I could say so much, but I'll just say I think I speak for anyone who has donated so much as one dollar. If Ty is miraculously born a perfectly healthy baby, we would all know it's a miracle and be so happy for your family. Additionally, we would all know any money donated was spent wisely. Never doubt that fact! Blessings to your family. Don't let the devil steal your joy. You guys have enough on your plates right now. Please let me know if you ever need anything!
We had an unexpected event in our family that began last summer in May. My husband had to have an emergency transplant and languished in Vanderbilt ICU for nearly 3 months. It was a very scary time and the effects continue for our family - emotionally, financially, psychologically.
Your struggle with this comment came about a week after I received something similar -- although it was not anonymously. The thing is, they keep referring the "event that occurred last summer." What they don't understand, is that this was not a few month occurrence for us. And it will not be for you either. These people helped us during that time, but our struggles have gone on too long and the expectations placed on me to contribute back to our friendship were just too much. I made the choice, such as you have, to share my feelings regarding this situation. I received so many great responses and I would LOVE to share those responses to you privately. If you would, accept my facebook request and I can email you the thread. I left it on my page for the day and then C/P the whole thing and deleted it.
Peace be with you!
Laura
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