In all things God works for good...

My latest post was met with some criticism.  I have had a negative comment here or there in my past blogging experience and have always been able to simply delete it and move on.  This particular comment, however, at such a critical time for my family, stuck with me.  I actually woke up several times last night constructing different responses in my mind.  My blog is set up to screen comments, so they come directly to my email for approval before they are displayed on the blog.  This is primarily to avoid the occasional piece of spam, but in this case served to keep negativity off of this page.  This particular comment was mean spirited and full of assumption and accusation.  It actually encouraged others not to support or help our family in any way.  Worst of all, although left anonymously, it clearly came from someone who knows us, or at least Chris, very well and either is, or is related in some way, to a colleague of his.  I had so many responses in my head.  I could fire back with an "answer" for each false accusation.  I could straighten out every assumption that this person made with personal details of our finances and our doctor appointment schedule and intimate details of our comings and goings over the past weeks.  I had in my head a pretty good response ready to go this morning, but I couldn't find any peace with it.  I couldn't feel "good" about a reply to this person.  As I laid in bed this morning, God spoke to me.  I heard him asking me to turn to him, turn the other cheek, seek - what would he do.  So I hit the scripture.

One of my biggest pleas in our situation with Ty has been that God would be at work and use our story.  We cling to Romans 8:28, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."  Even in our fear for Ty and his health, we know that God is at work and that good will come from a scary situation.  We pray that God will use us and our journey to bring glory to Him.  As hurtful as the comment was, I believe that God will work good through this and every part of our journey.  So, this morning I continued to claim this verse.

A friend that Chris consulted last night, reminded us that the more we "put ourselves out there" the more we open ourselves up to criticism, etc.  He is absolutely right.  I don't know that we have ever, as a family, been more transparent or in a more likely situation to be used by God.  Given that, we should expect to meet adversity and criticism - more than usual.  As such, we have to prepare ourselves and seek God in every situation and in every response.

We have to push away fear and doubt and trust God.  In reading this persons comments, the thought crossed my mind, "What if we get the miracle we have prayed for and God completely heals Ty?  Will that make this person feel justified?"  There will still be such a need - all the bills for prenatal specialist care, the time off work... the list goes on.  I had to remind myself, that we can't fear and doubt, we just have to trust God.  God has led so many of you to support us for a reason and we are so very grateful.  God is using so many people and so many ways to provide for our needs and to support little Ty and his fight against CHD before it even begins outside of the womb.  It is humbling and overwhelming and wonderful to see God working in our lives.  He has a plan for Ty and for our family that might involve complete healing as we have asked - either before birth in the form of a miracle or after at the hands of skilled doctors.  He may even have a different plan.  Our job is just trust, no matter what adversity we face and no matter what challenges come our way.  Trust Him and praise Him in all things.

This morning I found another verse that brought me comfort.  Matthew 5:11, "Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me."  I'm not sure what the motive was of the criticism we received, but God will work through that as well.  I have come to the conclusion that the best reply is no reply, but prayer.  I will not reply directly on email to the comment that was left.  I will delete it and pray for the person who sent it.  I will pray that God will work in their heart and reveal himself and his great work to them.

As for why I am acknowledging the comment on my blog?  In reading this morning on the biblical way to respond to criticism I found this:  "Ask the Lord to use false accusations as a platform to display greater courage, faith, and hope in the Lord's ability to cause all things to work together for good."  and "Never doubt God's ability to send the most unlikely people, provisions, and processes to deliver you."  I felt led to share, to continue to be transparent.  This isn't intended as a reply to the person who left the comment, but as a way to share our journey - every part of it - publicly, which is the reason this blog exists.  I have no idea how God will use this, or any part of our journey, but I trust that there is purpose and He will.

Our last weekend as a family of four...

It is hard to believe how quickly the last few months have gone by!  Our little Ty will be here on Tuesday and we couldn't be more excited.  The Lord has truly filled us with his peace and we are trusting that He is in control.  In that respect, even though in my head I know this delivery and baby will most likely present some different challenges, in my heart I feel exactly like I did when anticipating Ava Grace - just plain excited and ready to meet the newest member of our family!

I think I am more anxious about the girls, especially Ava Grace, adjusting to a younger sibling.  What a big adjustment for a little girl!  Of course, Chris and I worried about Lily adjusting to Ava Grace and she did so with flying colors.  Lily has made us so proud from day one in being such an amazing big sister and young lady.  Lily could write the instruction manual on big sister how-to.  She is so gentle, kind, helpful, and patient.  Ava Grace might need some pointers... in all of those areas.  lol.

Today and tomorrow I plan to finish up getting the house ready for Ty.  I have a few things left to wash and some odds and ends that I want to take care of before we head to the hospital on Tuesday.  We also plan to have some fun with the beautiful weather and to go to Lily's volleyball game tonight!  I'm hoping for a fun, productive, low-key, no-schedule weekend together.

I have so many thank-yous to send and 3 showers and a benefit to blog about!  Stay tuned, I'm hoping to do that this weekend to.  In the mean time, let this serve as a temporary, but heartfelt THANKS to everyone who has been so supportive.  We have had friends and family and even some strangers give donations to help us take time off work and pay for medical expenses.  We have had benefits and been showered with gifts that have just overwhelmed us with gratitude.  Most special of all, we have been added to countless personal and church prayer lists and I can assure you that we feel every prayer!  We believe that God has already performed miracles for Ty and have seen the wonderful ways he is providing for our needs.  We are blessed and ever so grateful for every prayer and know that God hears each and every one and will do great work through Ty's story!

An update on Ty

I spend another day at Vanderbilt yesterday checking up on our little man.  Maybe I should start calling him big man.  He is weighing in at 7 pounds now with a predicted pound-a-week gain for these last two weeks.  I am SO not prepared to give birth to a 9 pound baby, but the machines are just estimating his weight, so there is a margin of error there.  I figure God knows the perfect size for him to be and that's what he will be, so no since in worrying over it.

We had a non-stress test yesterday where we monitored his heart for an extended period of time.  He, and his ticker, passed with flying colors.  I even had a contraction while hooked up to the monitor and his heart rate went up during the contraction, not down, which is a very healthy response that we were happy to see!

Following the non-stress test, I headed to cardio for our last echo before Ty arrives!  He was stubborn, as seems to always be the case, and spine out again.  Our wonderful cardiologist worked hard to get as much of a look as he was able.  He could see even less this time because of position and size, but we were still greeted with what we feel is good news.  The narrowing in his aorta seems to be a small portion (they had originally said it was a rather long, extended portion) and the AVSD (holes and valve issues) looks like a partial instead of a complete like they originally thought.  These are both great news to this Mama's ears!  Anything that lessons the severity of his defect from the original diagnosis I am counting as straight up miracle and blessing from God as a result of all the wonderful prayers going up for us and for Ty!  So, keep those prayers coming folks!

Ty will be here two weeks from today!  Nesting has kicked into high gear and my to do list seems to only grow as I mark things off.  Mark off two things, add three more.  That's the way it goes, I suppose.  Yesterday one of my doctors asked if we were ready.  I told him I don't think you are ever really ready for a new baby.  He laughed and agreed.  Perfectly healthy or not, a new family member is a major adjustment and you can prepare as much as possible, but some things just have to happen when they happen and we adjust.  I can't wait to meet our little guy.  We'll be as ready as we can be... the rest is in God's hands.  I had a teacher once tell me, "prepare as if everything depends on you, and pray as if everything depends on God."  I have always thought that was pretty good advice.  So we are doing our part to prepare, but remembering that it is all ultimately in God's hands and we can't wait to see what He has in store of us and for Ty.

And because posts without pictures are no fun, here are some snow day shots from our most recent winter weather.  (Sorry no shots of Lily this time... she stayed at her mom's this time to get to enjoy playing in snow there with the neighborhood kids since she already got snowed in here last time!)

Now bring on spring!!!!

3 more weeks and 1/3 there....

We are so happy to announce that with three weeks left until delivery, we are 1/3 of the way to our fundraising goal of $15,000.

This weekend we were blessed beyond belief with two major strides toward our goal.  In addition to so many personal donations to Ty, we had two fundraisers come rolling in.  

The first was our Pampered Chef fundraiser that we have been blasting on facebook.  Our grand total from the facebook Pampered Chef party was $400.25.  I was blown away with all of the support and so grateful to Sarah Basham with The Pampered Chef for facilitating this fundraiser!  I also have to give a HUGE shout out to my sister who had the idea in the first place and got everything organized.  I also can't not mention my mom, sister-in-law, and Anne for helping publicize and being the ship to addresses to help us get products where they belong when they come in!  I appreciate each of you and the role you played to make this fundraiser FUN and a success!

The second fundraiser to come in this weekend was the Gallatin Country Club 3rd Annual Chili Cook Off!  This one was a total surprise to Chris and I when we found out they were doing it just a week ago.  The woman's golf association there started this annual event, but this year decided to honor us with the proceeds.  Not only was this a fun night of friends, great food, and fun, we brought home a whopping $600 for Ty!  We were truly blown away by everyone's kindness and generosity.

I have to thank our wonderful neighbor-friends who asked the girls to stay for a sleep over while Chris and I went to the Chili Cook off.  The girls were both SO excited to have a sleep over with them.  They each packed their own suitcases full of stuffed animals and games.  Ava Grace was bouncing off the walls and shouting at the top of her lungs when we dropped them off.  They had THE BEST time and although Chris and I were home by 8:00, we enjoyed a "night off" worry free knowing the girls were right across the street and well taken care of.

In other news:
Ty got a check up on Thursday and passed with flying colors!  His MFM gave his ultrasound an 8 out of 8!  Everything looks so very healthy with the exception of his heart.  We officially scheduled our induction for March 24 and got all of those details together.  From here on out I'll be making the trip to Nashville twice a week for checkups on me and on Ty.  I'm not looking forward to all the driving, gas, and time spent at at the doctors offices, but I am glad that Vanderbilt is so very on top of things and keeping a good eye on us!  That also means I'll have more frequent updates to share as well.

I offer a most heartfelt thanks to all who continue to lift our family and Ty up in prayer!  I also thank everyone who has felt led to give.  We are truly amazed at how God is at work in the life of our family and Ty and all around us.  He is providing in so many ways both financially and by filling us with peace as we wait for our little guy's arrival!

Ice, Snow, and lots of it!

This has been a week of snow in Tennessee... literally an entire blissful week!  Not everyone shares my sentiment, but I loved every flake.  No work, home with my family, can't go anywhere - A OK with me!

The kids loved it too, of course.  This is the most snow I have seen in years - since I was a little girl.  I loved getting to share a big snow with the girls and make all those fun memories!  Type of precipitation varied widely across Middle Tennessee, but here in Portland we got about 2 inches of sleet followed by several inches of snow.  When it was all said and done we stuck a ruler in the snow and measured about 7 inches total.

We had so much fun!  Movies and popcorn, snuggles, games, and as much snow play as we could get in without freezing our buns off!

Sunday, with lots of snow in the forecast, we went to Lowe's and got 2 sleds.  I was so glad because this snow was too powdery for a snowman, but the sleet underneath was perfect for sledding! 

We sled in our backyard, in our neighbor's back yard and even on the road a little bit.

(I think the picture of Ava Grace above looks a lot like me when I was a little girl... what do you think mom?) 

Here we are trying out the sleds for the first time.

Here is our road! 

We took a walk down the road just to see if we could sled down a bigger hill.  The girls were cracking me up, enjoying their ride.  Ava Grace almost fell asleep - no joke! 

 The big hill was a bit much for our girls... well, actually Ava Grace would have gone down any hill, any where, any time, but Lily was skiddish and it stressed mommy and daddy out!  I was especially leery of falling, so we headed back to relatively flat land.

One thing that became rapidly apparent is that our house has a complete lack of snow apparel!  Only Ava Grace had boots and none of us had waterproof gloves.  We don't get snow often, but I am thinking I need to keep some snow gear on hand just in case.

Ava Grace and Cookie next across the street.  This girl needs a dog! 

Super Ava Grace!

She insisted on wearing her cape (that used to be Lily's) out in the snow!  She "Zippidy-Zoomed" all over the yard.  It was pretty much adorable.  She is a super-hero loving girl.  When we got inside she changed into her pirate outfit for the rest of the day and proclaimed herself a "beautiful princess pirate."

 Zippidy. Zoom.

 I'll have to post a video later of the giant belly laughs that came out of this girl sledding.

Pure. Joy.

 Sledding with Kayleigh across the street.

 More sled rides with Daddy pulling... poor Daddy got a work out!

Kassidy did her fair share of pulling and sledding with Ava Grace as well! 

Missy even did some sledding!  She ended up having the perfect sledding hill in her back yard.  Just the right size for the girls! 

We pretty much have the best neighbor-friends ever!  BLESSED beyond measure!

And after hours and hours of rain, our road is still white, we still have several inches of snow on the ground, and not a blade of grass to be seen.  Wondering if this stuff will ever melt.

Vandy marathon #2

(Baby Ty at 33 weeks)

Yesterday we headed back to Vanderbilt for another day full of appointments with our medical team.  It was exhausting and full of questions and few answers, but it was a good day.

Every day, we praise God.  Yesterday he gave us a multitude of reasons to sing his praises.

1.

Our first appointment was with our MFM for another ultrasound and discussion of the findings.  What did they find?  One very big, very healthy baby boy!  Ty is already weighing in at 5 pounds with 6 weeks to go until delivery.  His head circumference is in the 95th percentile - yikes!  C-section anyone?  (kidding, we are still a go for vaginal delivery if he'll get his head down, but it sure does make me wonder if I'm going to be pushing out a 10 pounder).  We are PRAISING JESUS for his health!  Everything was the picture of perfection and the bigger the baby the better off he'll be for his heart surgery!  Big and Healthy = Thank you Jesus!

2.

We met with the neonatologist and toured the NICU.  I cried.  I can talk bout it until I'm blue in the face with anyone, with confidence, with a smile even, until I'm standing in Vanderbilt Children's hospital, in a litte NICU room, looking around through the glass into other little NICU rooms with tiny babies and tubes and machines and tiny little cries and computers everywhere.  It was a slap in the face... another little piece of reality sinking in.  Still, even though it hit kind of hard, it was GOOD to see where we anticipate being.  It was GOOD for the neonatologist to wrap her arms around me and tell me that she had a baby in the NICU once too and she has been there and that Ty will be so well taken care of.  It was good to hear they want us there and they want us to hold him as much as he is able to be held and that we are apart of the medical team and they want us there to participate and to bond and to be mommy and daddy even when we can't hold him.  Unfortunately we also learned that NICU is on flu season lockdown.  Last year they had 4 babies get the flu in the NICU, so this year until the flu ban is lifted it'll only be Chris and I and two other designated individuals able to see him.  Everyone else will have to be happy with pictures until we get out of the NICU.  That was a bit of a disappointment, but certainly understandable.

3.

We had another echocardiogram and another sit down with our cardiologist to talk about the plan.  This was the most frustrating and miraculous part of our day.  Ty is being so very uncooperative.  He is breech and facing my spine with his spine out towards my belly.  This makes echocardiograms VERY hard.  Ultrasounds don't like bone.  Looking through bone (his spine and ribs) to a teeny tiny heart doesn't reveal much but a very bleary version of what might be there.  I laid on that darn table forever while they pushed and had me roll to one side and tried angle after angle.  While our cardiologist looked, his fellow muttered quiet things to him like, "do you see that?" and "it looks like it is touching" and "there might be two there."  Not knowing what they were seeing was a little unnerving... would it be good news, bad news, the same news?  I prayed as I laid there, as I have been praying... for good news and for God to heal our baby's heart.  Last visit we weren't given much hope of change, medically speaking.  Defects like this typically continue to develop proportionally - so basically the defect would stay the same and we shouldn't hope or expect it to get much better or worse.  All this ran through my head while I waited for the echo to be done.  Finally Dr. Parra said, "Okay, well, we have put you through enough."  We headed to his office.  Chris and I had list of questions for him which he patiently answered and then we got down to what he had seen.  Even with a lousy view, he said that it appeared that the hole between the lower two chambers of Tyson's heart was much smaller than last time and maybe not there at all.  It also appeared that the one common valve MIGHT be divided or at least partially divided.  This would change his diagnosis from a complete AVSD to a partial AVSD!  In my book that is a straight up miracle - Thank you Lord.  If what Dr. Parra thinks he saw is correct, our CoArc repair after birth just got a lot easier.  If what Dr. Parra thinks he saw is correct, our second surgery might be at 2 or 3 years old instead of 2 o 3 months old!  Miraculous I tell you.  Of course, he tells us again and again, until Ty is here and they can do an echo directly on his chest none of this will be certain, but we are filled with hope and belief that God can heal our sweet baby!  

Dr. Parra told us that if the Coarc repair goes well and he ends up only having a partial AVSD it is entirely possible that Ty will have little to no limitations on life.  What?  Yes, he might even be able to be an athlete... if he wants to be one.  

We will now have weekly visits to our team at Vanderbilt and visit the 100 Oaks office every other week.  In addition, medical bills from all these tests and imaging appointments are starting the roll in and Chris has used all of his sick days up.  For this we also pray.  We know that God is providing and will continue to provide for our needs.  Thank you so much to those of you who have lifted and continue to lift us up in prayer.  Please continue to pray for healing for Ty and provisions for our family.  Thank you also to those who have felt led to give.  We are overcome with gratitude at the generosity that has already been shown to us.  God is using you, all of us really, in powerful ways.

Cake in the Shower for Big Bro

When we found out we were expecting, I certainly didn't expect a baby shower because this isn't our first baby.  I was so surprised and excited when my amazing sister-in-law called to say that she felt like we needed to be showered, especially with everything going on with Ty's health!  So this past Sunday afternoon we headed to Chattanooga for a fun afternoon at Sarah's house!

This is me and my lovely sister-in-law.  I assure you, she is the hostess with the mostest!  Sister knows how to throw a shower!  Cutest decorations, cake, delicious food, and fun!

 

This was Ava Grace's first baby shower experience.  On the way there, Mom and I were explaining what a baby shower was.  Ava Grace, more than a little confused, asked, "So, we are going to eat cake IN the shower?"  It was too funny.  She caught on pretty quick that "shower" was a lot like "party" and that worked for her!  The best part for both of my sweet girls was undoubtedly getting to play with their two best cousins who happen to correspond, more or less, in age!  The littles were wound up and rip-roaring wild and the bigs enjoyed a sleep over the night before the shower and a lot of fun play time!  We even got to play with Brady, my girls' cousin-in-law... he's such a little charmer and right there in age between Kenslee and Ava Grace!

I didn't take many pictures and as I sit here to blog realize I have no pictures of the cake, food, cousins, guests... just lots of me and gifts! I guess I was just having too good of a time to be behind a camera!  I'm so thankful my mom was able to take the pictures that she did with my camera and I know my sister-in-law took several that she will share later, thank goodness.

It was a wonderful shower.  We are so excited about each tiny little outfit, the baby gear and necessities that we were given, and we were down right blown away at the more than $400 in gas cards (above) that everyone pooled together to help us when we are back and forth to Vanderbilt so much!  What a blessing.  The best of the shower, however, was most certainly getting to spend time with family and friends that I do not get to see often enough.  I'm so grateful that each of you took time out of your busy schedule to come and to so generously shower us with things for baby Ty.  You'll never know how special that was!

On a bittersweet note, that was my last trip back home until after Ty is here!  So all you family and friends that I already miss better be thinking about a trip to Nashville to see us!  I have clearance to take Ava Grace to Cincinnati for one more laser surgery on her birthmark coming up and after that I am no longer allowed to travel.  My door is always open though - so come on up y'all!