The Oil Change

I never really like getting my oil changed. It takes time out of my day and I, for whatever reason, always feel a little awkward talking to the mechanics. So as I rolled up to get my oil changed last week I was already less than thrilled and it only went down hill from there! Apparently I entered some ditsy warp that made me momentarily "that girl" that you think can't possibly be that much of a ditz!



I pull up to the garage and a guy jogs out to the car and I roll down the window. "Afternoon, ma'am, how can we help you today?" I reply, "Just an oil change, thank you." He asks if I am a repeat customer. "Why, yes I am. I haven't been in with this car before though." He asks for my mileage. A moment's pause as I look at the digital display on my dash that I am still not entirely familiar with and the buttons on my steering wheel that I never use... I stab a button which doesn't display my mileage, but instead turns on the radio. I quickly (as if I could stop it before he notices that brilliant move) stab the button on the stereo to turn it off and commence to pushing the "mode" button on the steering wheel as it switches displays going through everything from average miles per gallon to current miles per hour - 0. Mr. Mechanic reaches over me, stabs a button on the dash and says, "There it is." No doubt thinking, "are you kidding me?"



Next part, roll into the garage trying NOT to be the chick that circulates though email who drives her car sideways into "the pit." Ah, park. A safe place to be while they change the oil. I go to a quick 10 minute oil change place and you are asked to remain in the car. Problem: it's unseasonably warm... like 85 and no breeze. I am a tad uncomfortable so I roll down my windows. I begin to mentally prepare for the "quiz" that comes at the end of my oil change. You know, when they ask you to turn on your head lights, use your blinkers, honk your horn so that they can see that everything works? (I am sure they charge me for this too, oh well.)



They guys working change my oil, punch in my Venn number and inform me that I have been there before with this car (oops... another mistake that makes me feel silly and I wonder why I didn't remember that, but I can't dwell on the thought because I have to get ready for the "quiz!")



And then it happens. Time for my quiz and I am ready! They close the hood and tell me to start the car! Then my instructions start coming.... "Turn on your headlights." I freeze. My headlights are automatic. Crap. I push a bar. Nothing. "Okay, ma'am, your headlights." I twist the bar. "Um, Ma'am, turn on your headlights for me, please." I push a button. VICTORY! "Okay ma'am, brights are working, how 'bout just your headlights" I pray, twist, and voi-la! Houston, we have headlights! "Thanks, now your left blinker" My brain says, "Easy one!" and then I flip on my headligh.... nope... my wind shield wipers! "Okay, wind shield wipers work, now your blinker please." Crap. I quickly recover and blink both blinkers quickly and turn them off. Thank you ma'am. I am SO ready for the end of my quiz... the last thing is always to honk the horn. My hand is on the wheel in anticipation when I hear, "Okay, now tap your breaks." And, of course, being ready for what I have anticipated I give my horn two brief, but very proud, honks. OH. MY. GOODNESS. I have no idea what is wrong with me... I don't even know if my brain realized what I had done until Mr. Mechanic said, "Okay, horn works, now tap those breaks." I was barely able to move my feet or anything at this point. Somehow a managed to tap the break, put her in drive, pay quickly with my eyes down and get the hell out of there.



As I pulled away I laughed. Out loud. I have no idea why I suddenly had blond-brain (no offense to you light haired gals out there), but I did. And it is still funny to me. And I have no doubt that every guy in that place talked for the rest of the day and probably half the night about the dumb chick that came in and how in the world is she legally driving a car.



So there is my "embarrassing" story, out there for you. I hope it made you laugh a little... I sure have laughed at it myself. a. lot.